Slacker

Posted by Karol on May 17, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

OK So, I always end up disappearing from blogs for like, weeks or months at a time when I try to start them up. Things have been absolutely insane around here. I just finished the semester last night – looks like I’m going to end up with a 3.6 cumulative GPA after this semester (3.5~ this semester). So that’s pretty good considering I didn’t pay any attention this semester and missed like half of my classes. LOL Very excited that the semester is over

Anyway – now that the semester is over, I have 91 days until my wedding! WOO! So so much to do! I gotta finish my boutineers and corsages. I need to get the invites put together and out by the start of next week. I need to print out the rest of the maps after I get more cardstock today and then I gotta tie them up with ribbons, then close them up and seal them with the wax seal. THEN when I get the outer envelopes tomorrow I’ll start addressing them and sending them out!

So much more to do! I’m really excited to get all this done and I’m hyped up now that I’m free for summer and can spend more quality time with Cheyenne Homework was taking up WAY too much of my time.

OK gotta go – much to do!

Domestic Abuse and Cheaters

Posted by Karol on Apr 24, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

Something that really upsets me is domestic violence. I watched a movie today that was called Jolene. It came out in 2008 and follows this girl’s life over the span of 10 years from when she was in abusive foster homes, and through 3 marriages, the first where she had an affair with her husband’s uncle because he attended to her needs and paid attention to her (then being put in juvi and having a relationship with a female guard); the second to a drug dealing tattooist (she didn’t know he was dealing, and turned him in and bailed as soon as she found out); a relationship with an older mobster type of guy who is ultimately murdered; then the 3rd marriage to a holier-than-thou incredibly rich christian who got violent with her during her pregnancy and beat the shit out of her when he found out about her past (stripping, giving it up while hitching hiking when she was running away, prostitution, etc), and ultimately took her child away. While I thought the decisions she made in her life were pretty horrible, my heart ached for this character by the end of the film because she lost her baby which was the only thing in her life to ever bring her real happiness.

Watching her get hit and watching what she went through brought me back to my own past. I would never wish any kind of abuse like that on anyone, not even my absolute worst enemy (including the man who did it to me). Being afraid to leave the relationship and fearing for your life after the fact, it’s such a devastating thing to deal with. When I finally ended the cycle of abuse with my ex, I was terrified he would retaliate and make good on all of those promises and threats (that he’d kill me, kill my child, blow up my car, etc) – luckily for me he was just a bully and never did attempt any of those things. Thankfully I have a large family and a lot of strong men in my life that would never allow that to happen to me either.

It took me being in that relationship to recognize the warning signs and to know when to bail. If a man gets extremely angry, if he threatens you, if he says “you deserve it” or blames his anger on you, you need to run the hell away as fast as you can and never look back because that’s just where it starts. After that, it WILL turn violent and you will regret giving him that 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th chance. If he says he’ll “never do it again” – he may mean it at that time, but he WILL do it again, and again, and again. Same goes for men who habitually cheat on you. If he’s been caught once or twice, chances are there’s been many other times where he has done it before and DIDN’T get caught (also the case with that abusive ex). If he comes to you immediately after it happens and this is the first time there’s been any suspicion of his behavior, he COULD still be a good guy, but if you CATCH him, he’s a dirty sob. I believe that sometimes people make mistakes, but if he loves you (this works for females too) – he’ll come around and tell you immediately and confess his transgressions. If he’s sneaking around he’s a damn dirty dog and you need to get the hell out.

This post doesn’t really have a point other than venting and getting shit off my chest. It just breaks my heart to think about all the women who live in abusive and unfaithful relationship every day and think that they deserve it or can never do better. You can do better. You DESERVE better. Never let anyone tell you you don’t. Don’t tolerate abuse. End the cycle.

Making a Comeback

Posted by Karol on Apr 23, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

I haven’t had a personal blog in a while, but I’ve had this domain for a long time. I’ve been toying with the idea of making a comeback and firing up a site again for a while, but I’ve just sat on these domains and just lacked the motivation to make it happen. Not to mention lacking the time to really dedicate to a site like this. But, the semester is winding down, and I’m actually learning how to manage my workload which is ridiculous being that the semester is almost over and I’m just now figuring this out. Oh wells.

I’m very excited for summertime. I’m happy that I’ll be on a break from what seems like a never ending college career, and I’ll get to spend more time with my family and just enjoy myself. I made the monumental mistake of switching colleges not once, but twice. And swapping majors twice. I essentially started over last semester, and thus have 2 years of schooling to go before I finally get my associates of applied science in Web and Digital Media Design. Next semester will be cake but the following 3 semesters are going to SUCK since I’ll have to be on campus 3-4 nights a week. It’ll be worth it in the end though, right?

It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t also work full time. But you do what you gotta do, right?

I’m totally babbling because it’s really hard to fire up a blog and have some sort of “beginning” to start posting from. I’m considering this site to be a sort of therapy for me to keep me away from going back to actual therapy. My life is so hectic and stressful that I needed someplace to just let it all go and vent. So, I figured I’d bring this back. Yeah…

Right now my schedule is Monday – Friday work from 7am – 3pm. Class on Mondays and Wednesdays from 6pm – 9pm, plus my online math class (a total of 3 classes). On top of that is caring for my 6 year old daughter, our new baby bearded dragons, some fishies, and planning a wedding that’s coming up faster than a freight train (less than 4 months to go!). Oh and I’m also doing the website for my daughter’s parochial school and church. Busy busy busy.

Meanwhile, all I really want to do is just sit in my pjs and read or play world of warcraft. One can dream as I’ve been sitting on my WoW: Mists of Pandaria beta invite for days now and haven’t even been able to install the damn thing. *sigh* One day, I’ll catch a break. Or at least I like to tell myself that